Sometimes This is so Hard!

Every time I have a foster that gets an application for adoption I am so hopeful and happy for that dog. All the references are checked, the potential adoptive parents are talked to and a home visit is done. Sometimes the first instinct is wrong and the home is not right for the dog. I have stopped adoptions because something along the way, usually a gut feeling, has told me this is not the dogs forever home. Once the decision is made that all is okay and the gut feeling says go for it I begin to question myself. Did I make the right decision, what about this and that, should I do more checking, was I reading all the signs correctly or was something missed. I worry so much for each and every one of these dogs that they never hurt, be abused or neglected again in their life. I want them to have HOPE as we all have HOPE for better lives and homes for them.

Cloey had a very bad experience these last few days because I did not follow that last gut instinct. A young couple that seemed very good, kind and loving applied for Cloey. All efforts pointed that this was the home for her. When I took Cloey to meet them my gut instinct kicked in, Cloey was telling me this was not her forever home. For some reason I did not listen. I left Cloey there, on the drive home I wanted to turn around a million times but kept telling myself it would be fine that Cloey needed time to adjust.

Shortly after For Hope, Inc began to receive information that caused not only me but 4 of our director’s great concern. Cloey has Addison’s, the information we received indicated that the young couple was not prepared for the cost this would take. I am sure that these parents would have done everything possible for Cloey but her illness is not something that her medication can be missed and given later. Proper care is a matter of life and death for her. As long as she is well cared for, receives her meds, has her blood tested and sees a vet regularly you would not know she has anything. She is full of fun, mischief and love.

Last night I went to correct my mistake. I went to pick Cloey up and tell these young people that they would not be able to keep Cloey. I broke their hearts. I will never forgive myself for what I have done to them or to Cloey. The main reason Cloey is back is above all else the dog’s safety and well being is important. It is not about what a potential owner or even I want it is about what is best for the dog. Cloey is so special (as are all the dogs) that pride, possession, demands or human feelings were set aside to do what was best for Cloey.

There is a happy ending to all this. When we walked in with Cloey I thought Shadow was going to cry. He was so happy to see his girl. They ran to each other and I swear they hugged. All of the dogs here were happy to see Cloey and Cloey was so happy to be home. Even in the car as we were driving all of a sudden there was a sigh from her that was so deep it came from her toes. I think she liked where she was but it was not home.